What is Partner Role Strain?

Illness or stress often affects both the patient and his partner/family members. Family members may experience physical, emotional, social, and/or financial problems due to caring for a loved one. Stress that is unresolved can lead to dissatisfaction which can lead to increased role strain.

What happens when you experience Partner Role Strain?

• You may be overwhelmed by daily tasks.
• You may feel frustrated or angry due to added responsibilities
• You may experience anxiety and/or sadness about your care situation.
• You may notice fatigue or lack of energy.
• You may be dissatisfied with your ability to perform caregiving tasks, routine tasks, or your relationship with your partner.

What causes Partner Role Strain?

• Partner role strain results when stress temporarily outweighs Your ability to cope.

How can I cope with Partner Role Strain?

• Make a list of all of your obligations, including children, outside employment, clubs or groups, and your additional caregiving tasks.
• Try to give up as many tasks or competing roles (work, social, civic) as you can, if even for a few days or weeks.
• Prioritize care tasks and try to set a routine for completing them. Write out and post your plan.
• Learn how to manage your time.
• Get as much training and information about prostate cancer as you can.
• Make a list of the care tasks with which you would like help.
• Identify things you need changed. Then, telephone friends, neighbors, and relatives to see who would be willing to assist you with these tasks and ask for their assistance.
• Look for a support group for partners. Try calling your local community service agency, local hospital, or Health Department for names of any support groups.
• Express your feelings.
• Talk to other people who have been in situations like yours.
• Be careful to hear everything that is said to you by your partner, family, friends, clergy, and anyone else in whom you might confide.
• If you are dwelling on the negatives, yell "stop" to yourself. Replace the negative thoughts with happier thoughts.
• Find a confidant.
• Try writing in a journal or diary.
• Try relaxation techniques, such as relaxing music, aromatherapy, yoga, visual imagery, soothing music.
• Get enough rest.
• Exercise daily or at least 3 times per week.
• Eat a balanced diet.
• Drink plenty of water, 8- 10 large glasses daily.
• Arrange to spend two hours each week on yourself.
• Meet with a counselor, therapist, or clergy member to talk about your situation and help you find ways to cope.

What can family or significant others do to help with Partner Role Strain?

Tell your family or significant other exactly what you need help with and ask them for it.

How can I talk with my partner about my role strain?

• Identify what you need help with or changed.
• Calmly discuss your needs with your partner.
• Brainstorm with your partner possible solutions.
• Write out the problem, goal, and solutions and post it. (The solutions may include help from family and friends. If so, write out who will be helping.)

Who can I call for help?

• Volunteer Groups
• Your partner's nurse
• Church Groups
• Respite Groups
• Community Services on Aging
• Chore Services (i.e. housekeeping, home health aide)
• Support Groups
• Mobilize Family Members

  This information was conducted in affiliation with the Walther Cancer Institute, Indianapolis, IN