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Sexuality After Your Partner's Prostate Treatment
How does prostate treatment affect your
partner's sexual activity?
Many men report changes in sexuality following
treatment for prostate cancer. However, these
changes vary and occur at different times during
recovery. Sexual feelings of desire and arousal
may be diminished due to fatigue related to recovering
from radiation therapy or surgery or due to shifts
in hormones. Difficulty with erections may occur
due to changes in blood flow to the penis. Radiation
therapy can affect arteries bringing blood to
the penis. Surgery can affect the nerves controlling
blood flow in the penis. Because the prostate
gland produces semen, men whose prostate is removed
do not ejaculate. However, small amounts of fluid
that come from other glands may be noticed during
orgasm. Ejaculation and orgasm are two separate
functions. Therefore, many men continue to be
able to have orgasms following treatment for prostate
cancer. After prostate surgery, though, the experience
of orgasm will be different since men often do
not have the feeling of ejaculation. Problems
with urine leakage may also affect men's feelings
about sexual activities.
What can be done to help with sexual changes?
Some changes in sexuality after prostate treatment
will improve with time. The stress of treatment
may reduce hormone levels for a few weeks but
as your partner recovers, your sex life is likely
to improve. If problems remain, there are many
options to help you regain a satisfying sex life.
Penile injection therapy, vacuum erection devices,
and medications can help with erections. There
is no reason that men treated for prostate cancer
and their partner can't have a satisfying sex
life. It may just take some time to adjust and
find the right combination of treatments for you
and your partner. You may also need to find new
ways to express your sexual feelings for your
partner.
What can I do to help?
- Be patient. Reassure your partner of your
love and concern for him. Recovery from prostate
cancer treatment takes time. Resume sexual activities
slowly.
- Become knowledgeable about prostate cancer
and its treatment. Expect "ups and downs" during
his recovery.
- Gather information and support. The New Male
Sexuality by Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld and Sexuality
and Cancer from the American Cancer Society
are excellent sources of helpful information.
Health care providers who are informed about
and comfortable with sexual issues and who know
your particular situation can be helpful with
specific questions. Men who have experienced
prostate treatment can also be good sources
of support.
- Work on good communication, not only between
yourselves but also with your health care providers.
Be encouraging but do not minimize your partner's
concerns. Give him opportunities to tell you
when he feels tired, pain, or changes in sensation.
- Your partner may fear that sex might hurt.
Ask your partner what he needs.
- Encourage your mate to resume sexual relations.
Talk about ways to enjoy each other. Be prepared
to take a more active role if that is what your
partner would find helpful.
- Keep an open mind about sexual pleasure.
Some couples have a narrow idea of what is normal
in sex. There are many ways to give and receive
pleasure, including holding hands, special looks,
hugging, kissing, etc. It is not just the act
of sexual intercourse.
- Schedule time to be alone with your partner.
Take a weekend trip. Ignore the telephone.
- Keep your sex life going. When people are
treated for cancer, their self-esteem may suffer.
Low self-esteem may cause your partner to withdraw
emotionally. Intimacy is an important part of
staying close emotionally.
- Forget negative thoughts. If you are feeling
depressed, get help. If your partner seems depressed,
ask him about it. If your partner does not have
the emotional energy to seek help, find it for
him. Call your partner's nurse or doctor.
- Take good care of yourself. Try to get sufficient
rest, eat nutritiously, exercise regularly,
and accept offers of help and support.
What can I do to get more information?
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